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Why I Stuck A Flare Up My Arse For England - Review

                  Football, drugs, beer, lads, banter… not my usual. However, I can confidently say, Why I Stuck A Flare Up My Arse for England, was the best one-man show I have seen in years.

                  It tells the story of cheeky chappy, Billy, who prays at the altar of football. It is his life. He spends his weekdays in his dad’s salon, weekends at Wimbledon FC, definitely not at the theatre. Along with best friend Billy, they descend further into the deep, dark depths of football hooliganism, after meeting a new group of friends and face the ups and downs of their intensely devout support of their club.

Photo by @rahpetherbridgephotography

                  Written and performed by charismatic showman Alex Hill. He maintains a Duracell bunny-like pace throughout the performance. It was a textbook case on how to keep an audience on their toes and truly caring for an occasional anti-hero. I laughed, I cried, I sang along to football songs (this is not my normal), I shouted “lads, lads, lads!” as pints were downed; I cringed as audience members interacting with Billy attempted to drink his beer. Ultimately, I felt the same as Billy felt after sticking a flare up his bum, I just had fun.

If you’re a football fan, go see this show. If you’re not a football fan, go see this show. It’s is pure, unadulterated joy and performance mastery. I can’t wait to see this show again. Playing at Southwark Playhouse until 4th May, tickets available at



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