Where Has London Theatre Doc Been?

Some of you may have noticed that London Theatre Doc has been completely quiet since August. I haven’t posted any reviews, shared what I’ve been seeing or really interacted here at all. After being such a constant presence in my life for so long, I think that probably deserves an explanation. So, where have I been?

For those who only know me through London Theatre Doc, the name is quite literal. I am a doctor, now working as a Consultant in Emergency Medicine in an A&E in South London. It is a job I love and am incredibly proud of, but it also comes with enormous responsibility, difficult situations and experiences that are not always easy to leave behind when you walk out of the hospital. Over time, long hours, corridor care, difficult cases and the constant pressure of an overstretched system began to take their toll. Eventually, I had to admit that I was burnt out and struggling with anxiety.

Theatre has always been where I went to escape all of that. I fell in love with it as a teenager and, for years, sitting in a theatre has been one of the few places where the rest of the world disappears for a couple of hours. London Theatre Doc grew entirely out of that love. It has given me opportunities I never expected, introduced me to extraordinary people and allowed me to champion work that I genuinely believe deserves to be seen. But somewhere along the way, the thing I used for escapism started to feel like another job. Reviews to write, invitations to answer, social media to maintain and an ever-growing list of things I felt I should be seeing all became another set of expectations I placed on myself. Alongside medicine and other commitments, I realised that almost everything in my life had acquired an outcome attached to it.

The Edinburgh Fringe made that particularly obvious this year. I normally love its ridiculous abundance, the endless recommendations and the feeling that something brilliant might be happening in a room you had never heard of an hour earlier. This year, though, the sheer scale of it felt overwhelming. There were so many shows I wanted to see, people I wanted to support and invitations I was incredibly grateful to receive that I found myself worrying more about what I was missing than enjoying what I was seeing.

The past year has also been difficult personally. I have been dealing with the death of my father and my mum being unwell. Grief does not stay neatly contained, and I eventually realised I was trying to carry on as normal when I did not really feel normal at all. So I stopped. I stepped away from London Theatre Doc for two months and also took some time away from medicine to focus on my mental health and reset a little. It has helped, not because everything is suddenly fixed, but because I have started to recognise when something I love is beginning to feel like another obligation.

There has also been some very good news amongst all of this. I am in a new relationship with an extraordinarily kind man who has been beside me through what has been a difficult period. He arrived with relatively little knowledge of theatre, and unexpectedly that has been rather wonderful. Taking someone to shows without all the reviews, industry conversation or expectations that come with seeing hundreds of productions has reminded me what it feels like simply to go to the theatre. Finding out what he loves, what surprises him and what he absolutely does not understand has made it exciting again. It has reminded me that before London Theatre Doc, before star ratings and press nights and deadlines, I was simply someone who really loved going to the theatre. I think I needed reminding of that.

So London Theatre Doc is coming back, perhaps with a slightly different perspective. I still want to see brilliant work, champion shows and artists who deserve attention and write reviews that I am proud of, but I also want to stop feeling that I need to see everything. For the rest of the year, I want a little less obligation and a little more curiosity. I want to see the things that genuinely excite me, spend more time meeting the people behind the work and remember that it is completely fine to simply enjoy a night at the theatre.

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London Theatre Doc was created because I loved theatre, and I want to make sure it stays that way. Thank you to everyone who has checked in, continued inviting me to things or simply stuck around while it has been quiet.

I am very happy to be back!